WARNING:

There is a volatile disease spreading rapidly throughout all cities and states. It has affected people of all ages and genders but has taken a specifically hard hit on young girls. Often it goes ignored until there is no choice but to notice and deal with it. In some cases, it never actually reaches what society seems as 'harmful' so its victims suffer in silence.

At first, this disease does not seem harmful and actually appears as beneficial. Many deny the truth of their diagnosis, as well as try to ignore other’s comments and concerns. Many have been mentally and physically scarred by this disease and it has lingered on throughout the rest of their lives. Too many have died.

Some common symptoms are: Refusal to eat or denial of hunger, immense fear of weight gain, distorted self-image, excessive exercise, irritability, going to the bathroom directly after meals, bloodshot eyes, eating large amounts of food at once and thin appearance. In some cases the sufferer appears at a 'normal' weight, but their behavior is far from normal. Have you heard of this disease?

It’s called an eating disorder.

…Sound familiar?

I wish we could reach every girl in the U.S. about this disgusting disease. I wish we could ask them whether they have ever struggled with eating, body image or self-esteem.  Though I fear a very high percentage would say yes. I don’t fear the reality of their struggle or problem, I fear the damage our society has caused and helped to fester this disease.

We live in a culture where you are encouraged to go to any length necessary to achieve a perfect body. Whether that be dieting, starving, surgery, make up, or treatment. We are pressured to become something we are not in order to be successful, or beautiful or loved. We are fed a message that our worth is directly related to our appearance. THIS IS A LIE. This is a lie that we believe and a lie that we tell, everyday, with our actions.

More than ever this topic of weight has been circulating a lot around us. Whether it's on Facebook-- seeing weight loss pictures/statuses, passing the magazines at the store, reading about celebrities who are in treatment, or my friends who are coming to me admitting that they have a problem and need help. It is so upsetting and unsettling.

Due to the vast increase in awareness of this problem, we both have made a decision to delete the word “weight” from our vocabulary. This may sound silly or extreme but making comments about others weight (whether it is mean or nice) is not necessary. When that comment is the first comment made to someone it sends the all too common message that our weight is the most important aspect of us.

In the past few weeks, I have wanted to compliment different individuals on their weight loss. I thought to myself that no harm could be done because I “knew” they didn’t have a problem and that they were trying very hard to lose the weight. I resisted the urge and complimented them in a different way.  After one incident, I found out that my friend had been struggling with an eating disorder. If I had complimented her on her weight loss- I would have encouraged her unhealthy behaviors and fed into the belief that her weight is in fact the most important thing.

I realize that not everyone’s weight loss is because they have an eating disorder, acknowledging their weight could still be harmful to them and perpetuates the weight focused society we live in. Eating disorders kill- they have the highest mortality rate of all mental illnesses. They destroy so many lives. And whether you like it or not if you make conversation about weight- you are triggering the disease. Your pride and excitement over weight loss goals could be the downfall of someone else's recovery. It is the unawareness and lack of sensitivity by well meaning women that perpetuates the problem more than anything else.

It is great to take care of your body and be healthy but that is not the same thing as being thin or unhealthy. Media has brainwashed us into thinking that they are one in the same and that. We encourage you to take a stand, not only for yourself, but for the thousands of girls suffering from this disease.

Let's be a living reminder to all girls, young and old that beauty actually has little to do with what society leads us to believe. Let's raise up a generation of girls who are too busy being kind, generous, loving, brave, bold and God-fearing to worry about being merely thin. Let us, as woman band together and lift one another up for their achievements and stop giving any relevance to how much weight someone has lost.

Let's change the path for the girls that come behind us.

We claim the problem is our society but we are the society and we are the problem. Media and society’s view isn’t going to change until we change. It is our job as women to do something and to put a stop to this. Challenge yourself to stop talking about your weight and others’ weight. Just delete that word. Delete it.

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Elements of friendship: Part Two

In our first post we dished out the serious jazz of being in a friendship. The important nitty gritty of a close friendship. This time, you are in for a treat, you're going to get the secret recipe of BFFs from Gwemily. Which, not to brag or anything but we're in the Best friend hall of fame. Okay, there isn't a best friend hall of fame, but if there was we'd definitely be there.

 1) Starbucks: there needs to be a healthy dose of Starbucks in any relationship. If you see your girl breaking the bank on Starbucks it's your duty to graciously treat her.... Or suggest dunkin instead. Side note: if you don't know the others order, you aren't actually best friends. Keep trying. For example: if there are caramel ribbon crunch frapps availible- YOU GET TWO!

 2) Best Friend Telepathy: If you can't tell what your partner in crime is thinking just from a glance then you haven't reached best friend level. You just know the others wave length, and you're almost always picking up what they're putting down. When I'm driving an Gwyn says, "Are you hungry" I'm halfway to sheetz before I say "yes." It's also your job to translate on behalf of your best friend when she can't formulate her thoughts. 

3) Unending tab Whenever one half is getting food or coffee before seeing the other it is always assumed that the person getting it will pay for it and you don't need to pay them back. The reason is is that it won't be long until the other Gwemily does it in return. We are continually treating each other.

 4) Gwemily style texting Gwemily texting is a whole other story. We text a lot. A LOT. It's a good thing our friendship didn't exist before the world of unlimited texted or our phone bill would be out of luck. Whether we just saw each other or haven't seen each other for weeks, we're texting. Our texts range from being deep&serious- to totally jokes and we know which without having to specify. Warning: Our texts include much use of embarrassing hashtags.... But it's funny. If other people could read our texts we might not have any other friends.

 5) The Gwemily calendar There are some weeks I don't see Emily at all (they are rare, but unfortunately they do happen). Even though I haven't seen her I could probably give you a run down of her whole week, hour by hour. That's just how we are. Even though we live separate lives we are interested and involved in their daily lives. We like when our schedules align because it means we get the maximum Gwemily time (haha). We are both workaholics but somehow we still manage to see each other where it is at 10 pm or at the park on a play date with the kids we are watching that day.

Gwemily's friendship is probably a little weird and you've probably decided you don't want to be our friend, but we've mastered the BFF formula that works for us. Now go treat your BFF to some Starbucks.

Elements of a Christian Friendship

What goes into a friendship and how do Christian friendships differ?

When we are young who we are changes constantly and with that our friends change as well. For both halves of Gwemily, we have had many different friends come in and out of our lives. We’ve both been in different circles of friends and have had many friends we considered our best friend. As we continue to grow as people and as Christians, we have begun realizing that some friendships are much deeper than those we’ve had before.

There’s an old poem about friendship that goes something like this, “There are friends for a reason, friends for a season and friends for a lifetime.” Some friends find you on your journey to fulfill a specific need. Others walk with you on your journey for a certain time period, and it seems most friends fall into this category. However, every so often someone walks into your life, stands by your side and sticks with it for the long haul. These are friends for a lifetime. These kinds are few and far between but when you do happen upon one, cherish them for they are true gems. Treat these friendships like gold. The connection with these friends seems strong and east but the friendship still requires work. As Christians I think the biggest blessing is a strong Christian ‘friend for a lifetime’

We believe this is the type of friendship that Gwemily has. It takes a mix of fun, junk food and inside jokes as well as honesty, accountability, transparency and forgivness. We’ve reflected on our friendship and other Christian friendships and found 4 common elements among these friendships in order for it to be beneficial to both individuals and honoring to God.

1)     Honesty / trust
      For us honesty and trust are HUGE.  However, they’re probably the hardest to achieve. It takes honesty to trust someone, but it takes a level of trust to be honest. To be honest with one another is to share with one another what you feel necessary and helpful, no matter how you feel the other may respond. You will never have a strong friendship if your friend cannot trust you. They need to know that no matter what they do, what you say, you will keep what you say confidential. As a friendship grows you begin to feel a sense of security within your conversations and interactions—this is trust building.  

2)     Accountability

Accountability could be anything from helping your friend show up to class on time to helping them be in the Word and keep God as their focus. This one runs a fine line between being a friend and being a mom. As you build trust and honesty with each other accountability comes easier.  Accountability is necessary in Christian friendships that desire to seek God and honor him, if accountability comes from a place of both honesty and love your relationship will benefit from it.

3)     Support

It’s easy to show up and be a good friend when life runs smoothly, it’s necessary to show up for your friend when life throws them a curve ball. One awesome thing about our friendship is we know when one person says, “I need to talk.” The other one shows up and listens. Whether showing support means showing up to their house with ice cream and an open ear, cancelling plans, or listening to them vent for 3 hours on the phone. Even four hours apart we make it a point to always support the other in their time of need.

4)     Connection

No friendship can thrive without being intentional about staying connected. We’re both currently attending different schools so it takes an intentional effort to take time out of our schedules to talk regularly. We make it a point to check in whether it be through text or phone calls just to stay connected in one another’s lives.

All of these things take time, energy and sometimes you fail at them. That's part of being human and part of being a Christian. Apologize when you should and forgive accordingly.